In memoriam
The 6th of March is every year a very special day for me.
It's the last day of my very own year, before I celebrate birthday on the 7th. It's a day when I reflect on how well the last year went, how grateful I am for whatever happened, counting my blessings and simply being glad that I may again become a bit older.
And I also remember 2 women who are shining beacons of wholehearted living for me and for whom the 6th of March was also a significant day.
The one lady is Barbara P., a friend of mine who was born on a 6th of March, just 1 year and 1 day older than I am. Barbara and I connected very intuitively when we met at the work place, found many parallels in our lives. I remember so well when Barbara told with a big smile that she was going on holidays with her husband and 3 boys to Switzerland, looking forward to grand mountains and clear skies .... it was during that summer holiday in Switzerland that she was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer, found too late to be curable. With her strong, positive mindset Barbara made the most out of the remaining months ... and died on a 6th of December.
Her premature death was a super-strong reminder for me to listen to my body, be watchful to early warning signs, and I attribute it to Barbara that my 2 breast cancers were found early enough before they could spread.
The 2nd lady is Lisa B-A. whom I found through internet research when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Lisa was at that time an active blogger with the zest to educate women about breast cancer and treatments. I related very much to this positive, authentic woman who also had so many parallels to my own life. Lisa was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 years before I was, had gone through the same traumatic operations and treatments but unfortunately, after 3 years of being cancer-free, she was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer ... and died on March 6th, 2015.
So today, I pay tribute to these 2 strong women who are dearly missed by their families and my compassion goes out to them.
And I would like to share Lisa's poem that expresses so deeply also my feelings.
When I die, don’t think you’ve lost me.
I’ll be right there with you, living on in the memories we have made.
When I die, don’t say I “fought a battle.” Or “lost a battle.” Or “succumbed.”
Don’t make it sound like I didn’t try hard enough, or have the right attitude, or that I simply gave up.
When I die, don’t say I “passed.”
That sounds like I walked by you in the corridor at school.
When I die, tell the world what happened.
Plain and simple.
No euphemisms, no flowery language, no metaphors.
Instead, remember me and let my words live on.
Tell stories of something good I did.
Give my children a kind word. Let them know what they meant to me. That I would have stayed forever if I could.
Don’t try to comfort my children by telling them
I’m an angel watching over them from heaven
or that I’m in a better place:
There is no better place to me than being here with them.
They have learned about grief and they will learn more.
That is part of it all.
When I die someday, just tell the truth:
I lived, I died.
The end.
