How the ego can rob your happiness
Recently I came across the following story that resonated with me deeply and I see it an easy to remember reminder how to achieve happiness, no matter what.
A man came to Buddha and said, " I want happiness. How do I achieve it?" and Buddha answered, "First you get rid of the 'I', the ego. Then you get rid of the 'want', the desire. And then you are left with happiness."
Even now that I recall the story, it makes me pause and smile because of the inner-most truth that it tells.
So how to get rid of the ego as Buddha suggests?
Ego is defined as ‘the opinion that you have about yourself." and the ego can be either a good thing or a bad thing. It can be a good thing, because if the opinion that you have about yourself is positive and correct, your ego can help boost your self-esteem. It can also be a bad thing, because if the opinion you have about yourself is negative and inaccurate, your ego can put fear in your heart, stop you in your tracks, paralyze you with guilt and hence, rob you of your happiness, even sabotage your life and prevent you from fully enjoying life. To get rid of the ego, it's about being observant and watch out for the inner voice that says, “You can’t change.” “You’ve tried that before and you failed.” or “You have no experience”. The ego also gets in the way when we put ourselves ahead of others, believing that we know better, deserve better, instead of seeing ourselves as part of the bigger picture. Your choice is to either listen to your ego's whispers or tell the voice to leave you alone. Of course, it’s crucial to make plans and preparations when you’re out to do something new, different, daunting .... But when the desire to pursue something arises and you are at peace with the decision you want to make, follow your heart no matter what your ego says. Chances are you are going to be happy with your decision and succeed on the path you choose.
The 'I want' is distracting us from the here and now and focuses on what we do not have or what we have lost. To feel truly happy, it's so vital to accept, appreciate and be grateful for what we have - material as well as immaterial goods, memories we have, people we love, the lessons we learnt. And so my happiness does not depend on what I have. Happiness also does not await me at the end of my road. Being grateful and appreciating what I have in the here and now, puts me in a happy state of mind.
It takes effort and time to master the ego and it's an everyday challenge, yet it's in every one's power to do so - as easy as that ;-)
