Why I did not opt for reconstruction
Updated: Oct 31, 2021
Well, I could not have imagined it before the double breast amputations in mid 2014 .... but I have decided against any breast reconstruction for several reasons:
1) no more additional pain and
2) they would disguise what I have gone through and give the impression that I am just back to normal .... that's against my strive for authenticity. And so I left the hospital 4 days after double mastectomy without breast prosthesis and challenged myself to love my new self - because I am worth it, because I am so much more than 2 breasts ;-)
I also decided against tattooing the scars because even after 3 years my operated breast area is still sensitive and I am not prepared to go through additional pain. My wardrobe has undergone a total 'renovation' to fit my new body shape. And I use sexy underwear to cover my scars ;-)
Living without boobs ....At the beginning, it's hard to look in the mirror. Acceptance takes time and I needed a period of grieving ... because it's about coming to terms of loosing breasts. I allowed myself to grieve once the chemo cycles were over, during chemo I needed all my energy to get through the days with positivity and love.
It took me some time, but I have come to accept my new body ....for 20 years I was voluptuous with a really nice cleavage (yes, I loved my breasts, don't get me wrong) but so many women live with very little breasts .... just look at Taylor Swift or Keira Knightley .... so, I decided to see this as my very personal challenge to grow mentally. And let's admit it: my body was not perfect before the double mastectomy anyway ;-) I realized in the process that people respond much more to my aura, to my personality, my positivity ..... outward beauty is really only superficial.... so true.
Now - 3 years after breast amputations - I look sometimes incredulously into the mirror ... because I could not have imagined this life's journey. But I do not want to switch with anyone else, no matter how many more months or years I have: my life is rich, purposeful and happy ❤️
So my recommendation: follow your heart, don't plan too much ahead, don't put yourself under pressure what others might think....and do not regret what you loose , be happy what you have :-)
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