Cancer Fatigue - living with an invisible handicap
When diagnosed with breast cancer, my expectation was that after the operations and chemotherapy treatments, life would be back to normal very quickly ..... I totally underestimated the side effects of chemotherapy. Luckily the medical team equipped me with the "magic pill box" which kept in check wonderfully the classically talked about side effect such as vomiting and nausea. But right away from the very first chemotherapy session, I experienced an overwhelming fatigue that made me feel paralyzed and totally exhausted, and I referred to the fatigue intervals as my "sleeping beauty" times. To my astonishment, once the chemotherapy cycles were over, the fatigue has continued and only diminished a bit.
So while I look really healthy & good, I have learnt to live with this strange, invisible handicap of Cancer Fatigue. It's widely unknown and so I dedicate this week's post to it and share how I cope with it.
What is Cancer Fatigue?
It is chronic exhaustion post breast cancer therapies which 1/3 of breast cancer patients experience.
What are the Cancer Fatigue Symptoms?
You feel exhausted and too tired to do the things you normally do. Your arms and legs feel heavy and hard to move, your head is numbed, your eyes hurt and you can hardly keep them open. You can’t concentrate or focus your thoughts. You have trouble remembering things. Your tiredness doesn’t get better with rest or sleep.
As a consequence your tiredness disrupts your work, social life, and daily routine. You feel saddened, depressed, overwhelmed and irritable.
What are the treatments to cure Cancer Fatigue?
Actually there is no known cure so far. It's also not clear what causes the symptoms and it took me 6 months post chemotherapy to be diagnosed with Cancer Fatigue. Current treatment options include antioxidant supplements, homeopathy together with physiotherapy (which means soft exercising to build up stamina) as well as Cognitive Behavior Therapy (which means psychological coaching to manage oneself better in the face of limitations).
How to live a happy, fulfilled life with Cancer Fatigue? My days are now structured around sleeping & resting times, they are an integral part of my life. I also make conscious choices what I do and what I do NOT do because my energies do not suffice for everything what I want to get done respectively what I did in my “old” life. In the past, being active and living wholeheartedly meant for me: morning sport, family breakfast, 10 hours of busy & challenging working day, evening routine with children including bathing, playing, reading … living wholeheartedly meant for me to live a full, productive, effective, efficient day. And doing less, meant: not a full day.
Therefore it has practically been a mental challenge to accept my invisible handicap of chronic Cancer Fatigue and to not beat myself up. Compassion with myself and patience have been the key drivers to accept successfully my limitations.
One mental concept has helped me to manage myself, and it works like this: everyday I aim to realize 4 units of
1)something that’s good for ME
2)something SPORTIVE
3)something SOCIAL
4)something USEFUL. It does not matter how long the different units take, the important thing is that I do them wholeheartedly. And so I have compartmentalized all the different activities by the energy level they require and in this way, I live a very fulfilled and joyful life, doing whatever I can do.
And I admit: I actually feel blessed and deeply grateful about my new lifestyle which is free from negative stress, full of purpose and rich in mindful bliss. It took me a while to get to this high acceptance level but I have accepted not only the cancer but also the Cancer Fatigue as my very own challenges to grow personally. My challenges, my life - I love it :-)
